These are real balloons. If you buy some then they WILL turn up at your door. This is no joke.
They are high quality, thick black balloons that are made in UK.
If you have any questions at all then email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
There’s not a lot that can go wrong when selling balloons, but we need to cover all eventualities;
- When they arrive, inflate them by putting the open end into your mouth and blow. Not hard enough to cause a hernia, just enough to cause the balloon to increase it’s size.
- If you feel woozy or become red in the face, then stop. If you feel chest pains, then stop.
- You can’t blow into these balloons forever. There is a limit. Manufacturers guidelines state 10 inches is optimal, that’s 25cm.
- Once you have reached the optimal size (10 inches/25cm) then you will need to tie a knot in the end. I find the best way to do this is to bend over slightly (not so far as to rupture a disc) and grasp the balloon between your legs. You then have both hands free. One to stretch the neck of the balloon giving some slack. Stretch this slack around the other finger and form a knot.
- If you have managed to inflate the balloon without injury then give yourself a pat on the back (not too hard as to cause discomfort or marking)
- Do not attempt any of the above on a wet tiled floor, or standing on a glass table, or with a cigarette in your mouth.
- Do not give these to a child. As we all know children are stupid so they will probably try to eat it or make friends with it.
Nobody reads privacy policies. So here is what we do in simple terms:
- If you buy balloons from us then we will store your name, email and address data (we need to, so that we can use it to post balloons to you).
- We will not sell or give away your details to “the man”, or any man for that matter. Or any women.
- We do not store your credit card details at all. That is all done via Paypal (they have a lovely set of terms and privacy policies if you have a few hours to spare).
- We will not bombard you with emails. If you buy a balloon you will receive a confirmation email. If you like a product that is out of stock you can enter your email address to be alerted when it is available again. This will result in one email to confirm your request, then another whenever that product is available again.
- We do use Google Analytics on the site, meaning that we can see and track visitors. This is anonymous though. No personal info can be seen. It just means we can use this data to make the site better/easier to use.
If your order turns up damaged then email us within 7 days of receipt explaining what the issue is. We will offer you either a full refund including postage, or the option of having a new order sent out.
Regarding International shipping times, estimates are given by the Post Office of 7-10 working days. This however can occasionally be higher and is out of our control. Shipments outside Europe can be subject to being held up in customs for inspection, and counties own domestic postal system can add to the time an order takes to arrive. We can’t discuss the possibiliy of a lost shipment until 30 days has passed.
If you have any pre-order questions at all, just get in touch by email or on live chat.