the original abusive balloons

These are real, inflatable abusive balloons that will arrive by post, anywhere in the world. This is no joke.

rude office leaving party balloons
The 'office traitor' multicoloured balloon pack

NEW! Multicoloured version of the office traitor pack

Hen party balloons
The Hen Party balloons pack

Here come the girls…

The 'old man's birthday' pack

The ultimate balloon pack for his birthday

The 'office traitor' balloon pack

Work colleague leaving for a new job? Send them off in style…

Abusive balloon happy customers
Happy Fucking Birthday balloon

Happy Fucking Birthday Balloons (Pack of 5)

£4.00

5 x black balloons with the phrase “Happy Fucking Birthday” written on it in white.

For that special someone on their special day.

'Another Year Closer' Balloons

‘Another Year Closer’ Balloons (Pack of 5)

£4.00

5 x black balloons with the phrase “Another Year Closer to the Sweet Release of Death” written on it in white.

For that special someone on their special day.

Valentines Love Balloons

I Thought it was Love Balloons (Pack of 5)

£4.00

5 x black balloons with the phrase “I thought it was love, but I just needed a poo” written on it in white.

For that special someone in your life.

Worst human ever balloon

Worst Human Ever Balloons (Pack of 5)

£4.00

5 x black balloons with the phrase “Worst Human Ever” written on it in white.

For that special someone in your life.

bastard balloon

‘Bastard’ Balloons (Pack of 5)

£4.00

5 x black balloons with the phrase “Bastard” written on it in white.

For that special someone in your life.

'You are a waste of blood and organs' Balloons (Pack of 5)

‘You are a waste of blood and organs’ Balloons (Pack of 5)

£4.00

5 x black balloons with the phrase “You are a waste of blood and organs” written on it in white.

For that special someone in your life.

Old Git Balloons

‘Old Git’ Balloons (Pack of 5)

£4.00

5 x black balloons with the phrase “Old Git” written on it in white.

For that special someone on their special day.

old cow balloons

‘Old Cow’ Balloons (Pack of 5)

£4.00

5 x black balloons with the phrase “Old Cow” written on it in white.

For that special someone on their special day.

Funny abusive wedding balloons til death do us party

‘Til Death do us Party x10

£6.00

Pack of 10 white latex balloons with the phrase “Til Death do us Party”

A wedding is all about the party right? Get the formalities out the way then let’s get smashed on the free booze.

Perfect for a photobooth, or scattered around the venue.

Will arrive deflated.

Funny wedding balloons - the old ball and chain

The Old Ball & Chain x10

£6.00

Pack of 10 white latex balloons with the phrase “The old Ball & Chain”

Perfect for a photobooth, or scattered around the venue.

Will arrive deflated.

Funny wedding balloons - congrats or whatever

Congrats or Whatever x10

£6.00

Pack of 10 white latex balloons with the phrase “Congrats or Whatever”

Perfect for a photobooth, or scattered around the venue.

Will arrive deflated.

Bridezilla - funny wedding balloons for photobooths

Bridezilla x10

£6.00

Pack of 10 white latex balloons with the phrase “Bridezilla”

Perfect for a photobooth, or scattered around the venue.

Will arrive deflated.

Offensive abusive rude party balloons

If I were a serial killer (Pack of 5)

£4.00

5 x black balloons with the phrase “If I were a serial killer, you’re the one I’d keep in the fridge” written on it in white.

Perfect for the one you love on Valentine’s, an anniversary or engagement.

Will arrive deflated.

 

Abusive party balloons

Let’s look at our phones (Pack of 5)

£4.00

5 x black balloons with the phrase “Let’s separately look at our phones, every night, until one of us dies” written on it in white.

Perfect for the one you love on Valentine’s, an anniversary or engagement.

Will arrive deflated.

 

bitch balloon

‘Bitch’ Balloons (Pack of 5)

£4.00

5 x black balloons with the phrase “Bitch” written on it in white.

For that special someone in your life.

You are dead to us now abusive offensive balloons

‘You are dead to us now’ Balloons (Pack of 5)

£4.00

5 x black balloons with the phrase “YOU ARE DEAD TO US NOW” written on it in white.

Perfect for that much loved work colleague who is moving on to pastures new.

You're leaving - thank fuck offensive balloon

‘You’re Leaving…Thank Fuck’ Balloons (Pack of 5)

£4.00

5 x black balloons with the phrase “You’re Leaving, Thank Fuck” written on it in white.

Perfect for that much loved work colleague who is moving on to pastures new.


“Fabulous abusive dark and wrong…love them”
Maggie Cuzak


“Huge hit! Quality product and fast ship. Will purchase again!”
Julie Wright


“Will definitely buy from Lead balloons again.”
Hannah Hamer


“Just as described ^.^ the birthday boy was delightfully offended.”
Supermarioqueen


“It helps make a birthday UNIQUE. Thank you again”
Soniaali3


“He loved them as did everyone else”
Heather Low

We have made our abusive balloons as dark and bleak as possible. Don’t bother taking brightly coloured standard balloons. Where’s the fun in that? Be different. Create a talking point at any party.

The original abusive balloon company, with all original designs. Accept no imitations.

So whether it be Christmas, birthdays, Valentine’s or weddings, we have the right balloons for you.